I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
