Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
