Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
