I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
