Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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