He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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