Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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