people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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