Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
