careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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