Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
