Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize