Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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