We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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