He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
