Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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