It was confusing and full of hummus
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
