I wish life had little blips of pornography
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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