we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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