He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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