Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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