I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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