he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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