So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
