Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
