his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
