Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
