This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Never let your siblings swipe right.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
