she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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