Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
