Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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