Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
