I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
