It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
