could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
