I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize