I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
