I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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