Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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