She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
