is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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