I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
