woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
