Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
