so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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