sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
