As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Found the puke drawer
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
