We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize