I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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