Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize