Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
