all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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