I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
