Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
