Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
