Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
