i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
