Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
this will be a night to untag.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
