very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
