dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
