you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
