What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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