it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
