Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
